I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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