i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
