I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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