By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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