it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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