I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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