taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
did i walk over a car last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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