just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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