Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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