I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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