Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
