its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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