Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize