marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
