In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm like, not good at living.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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