My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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