You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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