Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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