She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
