Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
