Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
