living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
