im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
