I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
