He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
