By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
