but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
