So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
