also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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