omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
