Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
