I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
