if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
