New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize