Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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