so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
