Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
