Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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