i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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