Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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