Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
