the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
