Define "chronic" masturbator.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
