I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
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It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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