I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
