Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
