he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
