question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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