God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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