I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
