i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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