Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
