someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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