So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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