Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
