so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
