I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
