i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
