I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
