we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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